Family Matters Newsletter - September 2009

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Kids will tease

By: Sheila Gains, Family and Consumer Science Extension Agent, Arapahoe County

Who hasn’t teased or been the target of teasing? It seems that teasing is a regular occurrence among school-age kids. The trouble is that sometimes the teasing is too personal, too offensive and/or persistent. Children can learn strategies to stop teasing and the hurt feelings it causes.

Children need to know that teasing is a fact of life, but they can choose how they react to the situation. I recently reassured my daughter who was upset over a teasing remark made by another student, that I too was teased as a child. I was teased because I was the tallest child in first grade. Then I was teased when I got glasses in third grade. And of course there were the various alterations of my first or last name into something silly or annoying. Help children understand that teasers can always find something to tease you about, so learning how to handle the situation will be very helpful.

Help children understand that there is a difference between good natured “endearment teasing”, “OK Michael Jordan, lets’ see you stop this shot!”, “influence teasing”, “Come on slow poke” and teasing that is meant to humiliate and produce fear, which is called bullying.

When teased, children often fall into the habit of feeling hurt, upset and like a victim. So what’s a kid to do? Children should be encouraged to talk to a trusted adult and brainstorm a variety of ideas that might work in their specific situation. How could they not let the teasing bother them so much? What could they do to make the teasing behavior stop? This is a great strategy to deal with most problems/challenges in life, whether you’re a child or an adult.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Ignore the teasing by pretending not to hear the comment. (The offender might get bored and stop) • Change the subject.
  • Avoid playing with and around the teaser for a while.
  • Come up with a smart retort. (A verbal response meant to tease the offender back in hopes they will stop teasing) “David, if you like my head band so much that you keep taking it, I could get you one of your own.”
  • Use body language to show disapproval.
  • Ask the offender to stop. (The teaser might not know how much their teasing bothers you.)
  • Ask friends to stand up for you or tell the offender they don’t think the teasing is funny. (Many schools call this the caring majority.)
  • Ask an adult for help. If a teacher or playground monitor is aware of the teasing they can watch for it and intervene before it gets out of hand. Always let an adult know if the teasing is humiliating, threatening or cruel. This sort of behavior needs to be dealt with differently and before a child feels he/she just can’t take it anymore.

If your child likes to do the teasing, talk to them about different kinds of teasing and how hurtful teasing can be. Teasing not only hurts the child being teased, it hurts the teaser by costing them the opportunity of future friendships with others who experience or witness the teasing.

Additional Resources for Kids:

  • Heidi’s Irresistible Hat by Elizabeth Crary, MS
  • Simon’s Hook; A Story About Teases and Put-downs, by Karen Gedig Burnett
  • The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric.
  • Crickwing by Janell Cannon
  • Baseball Saved Us by Ken Mochizuki

Additional Resources for Adults:

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After school snacks kids can make

Pumpkin Pudding
Ingredients:

  • 1 can (15 ounces) pumpkin
  • ½ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 ½ cups low fat milk
  • 1 package (3.5 ounce) instant vanilla pudding

Directions:

  • Wash hands.
  • In a large mixing bowl, mix pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice together with a spoon.
  • Slowly stir in milk and mix well.
  • Add instant pudding mix and stir slowly for about one minute until it thickens.
  • Refrigerate until serving time.

Banana Wraps
Ingredients:

  • 2 to 3 tablespoons peanut butter
  • 1 (8 inch) flour tortilla
  • 1 whole banana

Directions:

  • Wash hands.
  • Spread peanut butter on one side of the tortilla.
  • Peel banana and roll up tightly in tortilla.
  • Slice into pinwheels or serve whole.

Recipes from: Kids a Cookin, K-State Research & Extension Family Nutrition Program, www.Kidsacookin.ksu.edu

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