Family Matters Newsletter - December 2007

Peace on Earth Begins at Home

Bonnie Sherman, Colorado State University Extension - Phillips County

It may seem impossible to raise a child in a peaceful life setting. But it is possible. Here are common characteristics of "peaceful parenting."

  • Communication - Listen to your children. Be in touch with their emotions as they talk. Do not interrupt. Tell them what you heard them say. For example, "You sound frustrated that …" This gives the child an opportunity to respond. He can be open and honest in sharing feelings and emotions.
  • Nurture Your Children - Show lots of affection to your children. It reinforces that you love them and not dependent on their behavior. Nurturing is important in developing a positive self-concept, increased self-esteem and self-worth
  • Pay Attention to Them - Give children lots of quality time and provide for their physical, mental and emotional needs. Children need a safe and caring environment to learn about themselves and the world around them.
  • Discipline - Yelling, sarcasm, and physical handling only reinforces violence. Violent forms of discipline do not help a child develop calm ways to handle negative situations. Patience, consistency and decision-making teach that problems will be solved in a positive, peaceful way.
  • Problem Solving - Clear, simple rules and reasons for those rules are important. Include your kids in setting rules, expectations and consequences. Ask them for their ideas about rules and limits. Have your children help establish the consequences. Be consistent. Enforce rules and limits in a non-threatening way.
  • Use Non-Violent Consequences - If your child has decided not to follow a rule, choose a consequence that teaches positive behavior and self-control. These can include losing a privilege. Time-out for a few quit minutes can be effective. If the child is young, redirecting either verbally or physically is a good method. For an older child, share your disappointment. Allow natural and logical consequences such as repayment of money or time out for the child.
  • Management - Managing time, money, energy and personal skills are important in family life. Prioritizing and planning will help keep frustration and anger under control.
  • Networking - Develop friendships and associations with other parents to provide support for each other when dealing with a difficult parenting matter.
  • Set a positive example - Be a model for your children. Follow the same guidelines you set for them.
  • Be aware of your mood. Personal stress levels may cause excessive discipline methods that can hurt children physically and emotionally. The secret is to known your own limits. Recognize them. React appropriately.
  • Share the Power - Offer one or two choices when possible. This allows for understanding, cooperation and self-respect for both you and your child.
  • Handle with Care - Show respect and value for your children. Use hugs and caring touches, not hitting or grabbing. Use calm reasoning and a normal tone of voice when explaining things.
  • Minor mistakes are not important - Criticizing small mistakes makes children feel they do everything wrong. It only hinders positive self-esteem. Instead, focus on the larger issues that can cause real problems.
  • Accentuate the Positive - Tell your child when you observe positive behavior. "Thanks for helping your little sister get her coat on. That was so nice of you." Children respond by doing more of what they are valued for doing.
  • Give Peace a Chance - It takes time and patience to parent peacefully. To change your methods of discipline from harsh to peaceful takes thought and time. If a new method doe not work right away, try it several times. If it still does not work, try something different.
  • Raise a Peacemaker - Peaceful parenting provides an atmosphere of tolerance, understanding, compassion and self-esteem. It means raising children who will carry these qualities into the future and instill them in coming generations.

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Active Kids

Play is essential for a child's learning. Toys are the tools of play.

Toys should be safe, affordable, and developmentally appropriate. They should represent family values and what you think is important for your family and for your child.

Children learn from others. Choose toys that encourage playing with others; promote creativity and one that your child will play with repeatedly.

Just because a toy is for sale, does not mean it is safe. Government regulations, safety standards, product testing and industry-wide efforts have tried to ensure that toys are safe. Consider how the toy will be used, or abused. How much supervision will be needed for safe play? Is it safe and durable?

Pick age appropriate toys. Review the toy with a critical eye. What might be appropriate for a six year-old, may have pieces and parts that could be harmful to a three-year-old sibling. Does it fit your child's age, abilities and interests?

Adults should always watch over children when they play, inside, outside and especially when near water.

For more information on toy selection and toy safety, visit the Toy Industry Foundation at: www.toy-tia.org.

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Healthy Kids

Sweets are part of the fun during the holiday season. There is a place for sugar in a child's diet, but moderation is the key. A high-calorie diet can lead to excessive weight gain. Although most children burn the extra calories through daily activities, some do not and may eventually end up overweight. Dental problems, such as tooth decay can be reduced by limiting the amount of sugar in the diet.

Tips to help keep sugar under control:

  • Use 2/3 to ¾ of the sugar called for in recipes. Add extra spice of flavoring to enhance the impression of sweetness.
  • Add raisins or other dried fruits to cookie dough instead of chocolate chips or chunks of candy.
  • Make your own frozen treats by freezing unsweetened fruit juice.

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Safe Kids: Holiday dangers

Cozy homes, family gatherings, decorations and gifts are all part of what makes the holiday season so special. However, these traditions introduce new objects that can be hazardous to children. If you suspect a poisoning, it is important to act fast and act smart! Call the Center for Poison Control Emergency Hotline: (800) 222-1222.

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