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In times past, when families lived closer together and
elders were an important part of family life, grandparents often
shared in the excitement of child rearing. The first tooth, the
first step, the first day of school--each was a tiny miracle to
be cherished. Children where a part of their grandparent's lives
and were deeply affected by their loving care and attention.
Today, changes in society and family life often disrupt this
important relationship between elders and children. Children may
be separated from their grandparents by distance or because of
divorce. Social attitudes may quietly erode values that
strengthen relationships. The grandparent may think, "Don't get
involved--stay out of it. Child rearing is the parents' job," or
"I don't want to pressure them to let me visit--they have their
own lives to live."
Hidden within these kind of statements is an underlying
belief that children and grandparents do not really need contact
with each other or, if they do, they are powerless to influence
the lives of the younger generation. Somehow, we have to begin to
re-establish and support the vital connection between elders and
children.
Our lives can be enriched by contact with people of all ages
and children have much to learn from their grandparents. For
their part, elders can benefit from involvement with children by
establishing a sense of connection with the younger generation
and knowing they play an important role in their lives. Keeping
records is a good way of doing this.
A scrapbook and journal are ways of recording memories.
That will serve as records of both you and your child's
experiences.
You and your grandchild each can make your own scrapbook.
You'll need a three-ring notebook or a similar folder for holding
your grandchild's letters. Your scrapbook will include drawings,
pictures, letter and activities your grandchild sends, and your
grandchild will have a scrapbook containing all the materials you
send.
A journal is a record of your personal thoughts and
observations about each correspondence. You may write in the
journal immediately after completing a letter to the child and
again after receiving a grandchild's letter. This will vary with
each letter. Your reactions may either be written in the notebook
or recorded on an audio-cassette tape or videotape.
Direct your comments to your grandchild as though he or she
is now an adult. Imagine him or her as a grown-up, sitting and
reading your words, feeling close to you, despite the passage of
many years. The journal is like a time capsule, a precious record
of you to be appreciated by an adult grandchild.
At the end of the correspondence, make a copy of the journal
for yourself, if you wish, and give the original to the child's
parents for safekeeping. Ask the parents to present it to your
grandchild when he or she reaches adulthood and can appreciate
this record of a grandparent's interest and affection.
The scrapbooks are something that both you and your
grandchild can appreciate immediately, while the journal is a
personal record of your thoughts and feelings about a variety of
issues. It is an opportunity for you to reveal what you believe
to be important to a grandchild when he or she reaches adulthood.
Both the scrapbook and journal will be special treasures
with lasting value. They will bring you closer to your grandchild
and keep you in contact as time goes by. This can help you and
your grandchild build a firm and lasting relationship, despite
the distance that separates you.
For more information, contact your local
Colorado State University Extension office.
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