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The neighborhood where I have lived for a dozen years has relatively few
young families. Most households consist of an elderly single person or
couple. One couple in particular has continued to live a fairly active
lifestyle, considering their ages. There are the expected age-related
issues and occasional illnesses, but they handily execute life's daily
tasks of housekeeping, meals and minor yard work. Driving to the grocery
store or the doctor has not become an unreasonable chore for them. On some
occasions they take out of town trips to visit relatives. At this point
they are doing OK, but I imagine the day will arrive when one becomes
dependent and the other tries to manage full-time care of the spouse as
well as the household chores.
Caregiving can be a stressful job, one that can call for a person to be on
the job 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Many of us can
recall some incident where caregiving appeared to take its toll on the
caregiver. In some cases, the stress is so extreme that the caregiver dies
before the one being cared for.
During the time that I have lived in this neighborhood, age-related
changes have become apparent in these neighbors and friends. There are the
expected eyeglasses and hearing aids among them. A pacemaker now keeps
one's heart beating properly; a pin in the hip makes it possible for
another to walk next door for a visit; a cane assists the evening stroll
for another. And as one might expect, a few suffer colds and flu or
complain occasionally of aches and pains.
As I observe the lives of those in my neighborhood, the realities of the
passage of time are very apparent. I speculate how things will play out as
the years advance. It would not be unreasonable to theorize that, as one
person in a household becomes less able to care for him/herself, the other
will assume the care duties. It is estimated that there are 5 to 7 million
individuals caring for loved ones in a family setting.
Research tells us that informal caregivers tend to be female, usually live
in the same household as the recipient and, in 30 percent to 55 percent of
cases, are employed outside the home. Given that an older adult may need
care for many years, one can easily see how the task can become a
bewildering chore that often stretches the capabilities and resources of
the caregiver. It is estimated that a third of the caregiving population
have incomes in the poor or near-poor category. If you link several of
these factors together, it is not hard to see how overwhelming caregiving
can become.
Visualize, if you can, that you are the lone income earner in the
household responsible for all household chores and also are the sole
caregiver for another adult in the household. Now imagine the stress and
frustration you would endure if you had health problems of your own,
little to no assistance with household chores and an income barely
sufficient to meet the needs of the household. Stress would have a major
impact on your own health.
What can be done to assist people who are caregivers of someone with a
long-term or progressive debilitating disease? Often we ask those
individuals, "How is your mother (or father, spouse, husband)?" Instead,
we might consider asking, "How are things going for YOU?"
The needs of the caregiver are often overlooked or not given the same
attention given to those needing care. It is important to recognize that
providing care to another person can have negative effects on the
caregiver's well-being, both mentally and emotionally.
Perhaps, as individuals, we cannot offer much help to caregivers. But we
can train ourselves to be cognizant of symptoms of caregiver stress and
become acquainted with community support systems and services. As much as
possible, we can extend positive support. Individuals living at a
distance, while someone else acts as caregiver, can seek to understand
factors that account for differing perceptions and expectations between
those living nearby and those farther away.
All people involved can make continuing efforts to communicate effectively
and make caregiving decisions based on objective assessments rather than
emotional or social pressures. We owe it to our family, friends and
neighbors to become educated about the role of caregivers and to be ready
to assist, even if that assistance is only referral to a system or agency
that can offer help.
Colorado State University Extension has resources that can be
helpful to those in caregiving situations. Ask your local Extension office
about a program titled "The Dollmaker," which is an educational workshop
on caregiving. Programs can be tailored to meet the audience needs for
topics or length of time.
Extension also has the following fact sheets available at
Extension offices or at the Extension Website
For more information, contact your local
Colorado State University Extension office.
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