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If you asked your adult child what gift is the best that
parents can give, the answer likely will be the gift of self-
esteem.
Once children pass the toy trucks and dolls stage, they
realize what a valuable gift self-esteem is.
It is the most important building block for emotional health
and happiness. And, when children are emotionally healthy,
parents have fewer worries.
It is easier to develop positive self-esteem at the outset
than to try to repair damaged self-esteem.
Children who don't feel good about themselves lack
self-respect. They lack joy in their lives and the
self-confidence needed to try new things. They are more likely
to be self-destructive. They also are more likely to abuse
alcohol and drugs and may be less likely to say "no".
Self-esteem is important for mental health and well-being.
It develops from the quality of the relationships between
children and the adults who play important roles in their lives.
Those relationships mirror personal value back to the child and
are the basis for self-image. Children observe how they are
treated and conclude: "I am okay", or "I am not okay".
When children are treated with respect, they learn to
respect themselves.
When we accept them, they learn to accept themselves. When
we love them, they learn to love themselves. Parents who
understand this process, appreciate the personal power they hold
and the importance attached to their role as a parent.
Do you know your child?
Take this short quiz about your child, then ask them how you
did. This exercise can be the beginning of much meaningful
parent-child communication. Circle one choice for each question:
- Which would your child prefer to do?
- go shopping
- roller blade
- go to a movie
- go hiking
- Does your child wish he/she had:
- fewer brothers and sisters
- more brothers and sisters
- no brothers and sisters
- satisfied the way it is
- Does you child feel:
- he/she has too many friends
- he/she doesn't have enough friends
- he/she has the right number of friends
- Which type book would your child prefer to read?
- about animals
- a mystery
- about someone their age
- about sports
- Which food would your child prefer to order when eating out?
- pizza
- hamburger
- chicken nuggets
- tacos
- Which one of these items would your child most like to have?
- color T.V.
- CD player
- video game
- bike
- When does your child prefer to do his/her homework?
- right after school
- after diner
- while watching T.V.
- Which would your child prefer for a new pet?
- a cat
- a dog
- a rabbit
- fish
- In P.E., which would your child prefer to do?
- play basket ball
- lift weights
- swim
- play volleyball
- Which would your child prefer for a vacation?
- a train trip
- a plane trip
- a camping trip
- a car trip
- Which chore would your child rather do?
- wash dishes
- vacuum the carpet
- clean his/her room
- take the trash out
- Does your child feel?
- too small for his/her age
- too large for his/her age
- neither
- What is your child's favorite type of music?
- rock
- country-western
- hard rock
- easy listening
- Which subject in school does your child like best?
- English
- Science
- Math
- Social Studies
- Which one of these colors would your child like his/her room
to be?
- blue
- pink
- green
- purple
- black
- Which is your child's favorite "special day"?
- his/her birthday
- Christmas/Hanukkah
- 4th of July
- other
- Does your child feel his/her hair is
- too curly
- too straight
- just right!
If you wish to receive a chart detailing the physical,
emotional, intellectual and social development of children from
infancy through age 12, send $2 to Jackie Connor, Colorado State
University Extension, Adams County, 9755 Henderson
Road, Brighton, Colorado. Telephone: (303) 659-4150; E-mail
address: adams@coop.ext.colostate.edu, or contact your local
Colorado State University Extension office.
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