When adult children move back home communication on finances is key
By Laurel L. Kubin, August, 2006
Colorado State University
Extension, Larimer County Director
Mom and Dad think they've launched their child, high school or college degree in hand, into a world of independence. Then the phone rings and they hear, "I need to move back home." This move might be precipitated by the child's job that pays too little, loss of a job, debts that have mounted, divorce, or any number of other reasons. Regardless, having a child, and sometimes grandchildren, too, living in the parent's home changes everyone's financial situation.
Discussions about financial responsibilities need to occur early in the living arrangement. Be as specific as possible. Some questions to ask could include: How much money can the parents use to help their child? Is the money to be a gift or a loan? Will the child contribute to household expenses, such as for food and utilities? Will the child help with household chores, and if so, which ones? What are the boundaries on how long this new arrangement is acceptable?
Put agreements for shared expenses in writing so all parties clearly understand the arrangements. Be specific about what expenses are to be shared, and how much, and when, the money is to be paid. This can avoid uncomfortable feelings later on. If no room and board is to be paid, then make certain all parties understand the arrangement.
Costs that may increase when there are additional people in the household include utilities, food, laundry and perhaps long distance telephone. Other potential expenses are additional car insurance if the child is driving the family vehicle, personal property coverage for the child's possessions, and childcare for grandchildren.
Money issues aside, include discussions about time management - - bedtime, quiet time and noise levels, for example. Expectations about mealtimes, helping with household tasks, and frequency or method of communications should also be part of the discussion.
Talking about family finances and responsibilities with adult children may not be easy, but not talking can easily create misunderstandings and tension. When an adult child moves home to "get back on their feet," family ties can either be strengthened or stretched. Up-front communications about expectations can avoid many potential problems later on.
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Updated Monday, August 29, 2011
